June 12, 2008

From: Gary West
Sent: Thursday, June 12, 2008 7:40 AM
Subject: Don't respond-

I am on a course, for years my bearings have been set. I had a
destination. I had a dream or vision that was as real as my skin.
I pushed all and everything in that direction. The destination was
happiness and security, family and business. All this under the blessing
of God.
Grandchildren, family outings and vacations would be the norm.
I could feel the reality of the dream and the vision. I could taste
it. I felt this was Gods vision for my life.
I knew that his blessings had been poured out on me and I felt
that he would allow this tranquil time in my life.
Now the destination is blown away, splintered by the death required
by this fallen creation. Total darkness is descending on me.
Dreams melt like ice from a windshield. Leaving me staring at the
blackness of loss.
I live without that vision of my future, without that drive. I see
life in minutes instead of decades and generations.
I know that I have a call. I feel it in my inner most being. How do
I move without a compass, without a vision for the future?
How do we see when the lights are off?
Am I to fight each day as if today is the last day of my life?
What is God leading me to? He knows me, he knows that I am a big
picture guy. He has stuck His fist in the middle of my picture. Breaking
the canvass and shattering the frame.
And yet I must relax....... relax in His grip.
In that I hide, I cannot see Him as I would like, I can only feel
Him. So now we move by faith and trust.
The strength I have is by Him and through Him.
I thought myself strong, now I know that He is my only strength.
Whatever I have is His.