July 23, 2008

From: Gary West
Sent: Wednesday, July 23, 2008 9:12 AM
Subject: Can God?

What does God want?

What is the end of this episode.

Where is the road to His will.

When we are in the wilderness, where is the trail back.

Where is my compass, where is He drawing me.

I feel the war inside, it rages.

The man of old, the man of sin, the man of rebellion.

He is pushing on the coffin. The coffin of blood.

The Blood of the Prince, the Prince of peace.

That old enemy, that old rage, that old temper, that old wildness.

He has been buried, he has been subdued.

Now he arises, now we are fighting. He is beatable. The blood beat Him
before.

To what end is this event?

What am I to do?

I am but a dog. I lay at His feet.

Outside are wolves. Outside is hunger. Outside is cold,. Outside is
loneliness.

I must stay inside the camp.

I am at war with myself, it is a very real war. It has winners and it
has losers.

It has heroes and villains.

It has ambushes, battle plans, and it has casualties.

I fight for my very mind, the future of my soul.

I use the nuclear bomb,

I claim the blood, the blood of my Master, my redeemer, my Lord, my
maker.

It is always enough, the battle rages, the blood flows.

I cannot disengage, I can't rest, I can't resist the fight.

I wonder if this is my fate. The end of my days.

To lose my son, to lose my mind, to lose myself.

Will I find myself eating grass from a field. Will I awake years from
now and understand the order.

The order of His power.

The order of His authority.

The order of His requirements.

The order of His sacrifice.

The mystery of His love.

The mystery of this event.

The purpose for my life.

Can God reveal to me?

Can God speak to me?

Can God stop this battle?

Can He protect me?

Can He show up?

Can he take me home?

Can he?

G